


Healing

by Shels



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec Lightwood Deserves Nice Things, M/M, alec is in love with magnus, jace sees that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-29
Updated: 2018-05-29
Packaged: 2019-05-15 13:57:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14791811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shels/pseuds/Shels
Summary: Jace learnt how to handle Alec being in love with him. But know he needs to learn how to handle Alec not being in love with him.And Alec?Alec shoots arrow after arrow into the same target. The arrows split each other in half as they make their mark. Alec knows how that feels.OR: Alec is torn and Jace finally lets him heal.





	Healing

**Author's Note:**

> I honestly didn’t know where this was going. I just started writing and I ended up here.

Jace isn’t stupid. He knows Alec is in love with him. A part of him has always known. But now he thinks that might be past tense. Jace knew Alec used to be in love with him. 

That’s a better way of phrasing it. 

Because you see, some part of him knew that the moment Magnus Bane walked into their lives everything changed. Alec stopped looking at him the same way. He stopped following him around like a lost puppy. His feeling for Jace stopped. 

And Jace knew he should be happy. After all, he has never been and will never be in love with Alec. But he does love Alec, like a brother. And therefore he should be happy that Alec found someone else to love. 

Except for some reason he wasn’t. 

It wasn’t that he didn’t want Alec to be with Magnus. He wanted that. He actually wanted Alec to be with Magnus. 

But for some reason, he didn’t want things to change. He didn’t want Alec to move on. Which was stupid because he really had no reason to feel this way. 

And even more infuriating was the fact that Alec wasn’t acting on his new feelings. A blind person could see Magnus’s obvious advances on him. And their parabatai bond meant that Jace was well aware of Alex’s feelings towards Magnus. Hey he always turned down magnus’s advances. 

Which was what lead Jace to where he was now. Beating a punching bag with everything he had. Like he might somehow be able to let his frustrations seep into the bag. Or perhaps like he’d find a solution if he pushed his muscles hard enough. The problem was deep down he knew the problem already. 

He was the problem. 

He was why Alec wouldn’t allow himself happiness. He and his stupid selfish emotions. 

Because He couldn’t risk loosing his parabatai. Because For so long he was the most important thing to Alec and now he felt like a child whose parents just brought a new baby home. 

Because he couldn’t let Alec go. 

Even though he knew Alec was already gone. He was gone the moment he laid eyes on Magnus. In that moment, the unchangeable truth Jace had learnt to live with was gone. 

He learnt how to handle Alec being in love with. But now he needed to learn how to handle Alec not being in love with him. 

And he was quickly learning that that was harder than he thought. 

He was being a selfish dick and he knew it. But he couldn’t bring himself to change. 

He stopped punching when his knuckles began to bleed so much that it was visible on the punching bag. He resisted the urge to scream as he left the gym. 

He decided to walk around the Institute grounds to clear his head. 

All he could think about was that he was hurting his parabatai. He knew Alec wasn’t acting on magnus’s advances because Jace wasn’t letting him. Sure, he had never outright said that Alec couldn’t be with Magnus. But, he never acknowledged Alec’s new feelings. And he never told Alec to be happy. Not once. 

He didn’t know how to change it. 

It was then that he heard the unmistakable dull thuds of arrows hitting their target. And he knew it was Alec. Alec had recently taken to training outside, probably to avoid him. 

But Jace followed the noise anyway. 

And he found Alec in a clearing. Shooting arrow after arrow into the same target. He marveled at the way the arrows split when hit by another one. He had never managed to do that once. But Alec did it with every shot. His entire body was tense. Coiled with power and something else Jace knew to be despair. 

Alec was tearing himself apart. And it was all Jace’s fault. 

So Jace made a choice. And difficult but necessary choice. 

He made himself known by ruffling some leaves loudly and Alec immediately swung around. His posture defensive with an arrow already drawn and pointed at jace’s heart before he even knew it was him. 

Jace put his hands up in mock surrender. The two of them stared at each other. Neither one breaking eye contact. 

Everything went still. Like they were stuck in their own world. Alec was waiting. Waiting to see what Jace would do. 

Jace knew no words could make up for his selfishness. So instead, he gave a small smile and cocked his head in a motion that said ‘go’. 

Alec understood. Immediately he understood. But he waited. A part of him unsure. 

So Jace repeated the movement once more.

Alec smiled at him. A big warm smile full of gratitude. And then he walked away from Jace. 

When Alec was out of sight, Jace picked up the bow and tried to shoot an arrow. 

He set Alec free. He allowed Alec to be happy. 

But as he shot the arrow and for the first time it split the previous arrow, he knew it was his turn to be torn.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed. 
> 
> Please leave a comment of some kind :)


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